A Humorous Tale of New Year’s Resolutions and the Battle of the Bulge

Ah, New Year’s resolutions – those annual promises we make to ourselves with the best of intentions and the worst of follow-throughs. For six consecutive years, my New Year’s resolution was as steadfast as it was unattainable: to lose weight. Picture this: me, tipping the scales at a hefty 110 kilograms, solemnly vowing each January 1st to eat healthily and exercise.

Now, let’s fast-forward to January 31st of each of those years. There I was, already breaking my resolution, caught in the act of wolfing down a double cheeseburger or snoozing through my gym alarm. The cycle was as predictable as holiday re-runs on TV.

It’s not that I lacked determination – oh no! Each year, I was determined to break my record of giving up. Sadly, my record remained remarkably unbroken. I started to think that maybe “lose weight” was just a code for “try a new diet for three weeks, then eat cake to console yourself.”

But then, something miraculous happened. One fine New Year’s, I actually meant what I had resolved. I swapped burgers for salads, elevators for stairs, and, most importantly, excuses for effort. And would you believe it? By the time summer rolled around, I was not only fitter but also a testament to the power of really, really meaning your New Year’s resolution.

So, as we deck the halls and jingle the bells, let’s remember that resolutions are more than just wishful thinking. They’re promises we make to ourselves, and they deserve our best shot.

Here’s to a Merry Christmas and a New Year filled with resolutions that we’ll stick to – or at least break with a little more creativity! 🎄🎉